The Tradition of Help

I've been trying to write this particular post for about a month... The reason I haven't finished is because I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. However, the true and underlying reason is that I'm not sure I have completely grasped the fullness of what I am living through. We moved back to San Diego a year and two months ago to be closer to family. Shane's sister and family, parents, and maternal grandparents live here; my brother and family, parents, and paternal grandparents live here. It made all the sense in the world, and I have been so very grateful that our move has meant infinitely more time for Clara (and now Audrey) with our families.

Beyond that, I am floored by what it has meant for Shane and myself... but mostly what it has meant for me. You see, almost 15 weeks ago, Audrey was born, and from the moment I went into labor my mom sacricially gave of her time and energy and love and everything to completely another month of zuo yuezi. That same day, my wonderful mother in law also sacrifcially gave of her time and energy and love and everything to care for Clara during the day as we spent the next five days in the hospital. And my wonderful husband, spent those same five days switching back and forth between waking to care for Clara, then coming to the hospital to care of Audrey and me, and back to put Clara down for bed, with basically no time for himself. What that meant for me was this second c-section recovery process has been, without comparison, infinitely better. There is no doubt in my mind that having help had everything to do with that. There is also no doubt in my mind that Clara has transitioned into big sisterhood more gracefully because of all the help we have received from both grandmas. In fact, my mom and Shane's mom have both continued to help us as we passed into the second and third months of Audrey's life. 

The tradition of help has been crucial to my sanity as a mother of two. Before Audrey was born, I knew I wanted to receive help, and was willing and eager to receive as much help as people would offer, especially from my moms. The first zuo yuezi experience helped me to learn to receive help (which was not an easy lesson to learn, but in hindsight was an important lesson learned) and know my limits as a mother. This second zuo yuezi experience has taught me that rest (and resting in the knowledge that my moms would love my girls as I do) would allow me to recover and be the best mom I could be to my girls. 

Someday, if my girls choose to have a child or children, I hope to pass on the tradition of help to them as well. The other thing I hope to pass down to them is the jewelry below.

At thirty days, Clara and Audrey were each celebrated and each received the jewelry in these shadow boxes. Jewelry from their maternal great-grandmother, from their maternal grandparents (my parents), and the necklace I wore during their specific pregnancies. I hope they see these shadow boxes and realize that before they were born, and in that first month, from the moment they existed through those first months, before they could do anything or be anything other than sweet newborns, that they were loved, adored and celebrated.