Making Room

We've cleaned out the extra bedroom and Shane and his dad have graciously built the crib, dresser, bouncer, and moved the glider into baby A's room. I spent two naps worth of time going through Clara's old clothes and getting them organized into usefulness and sizes. This time around, I know what we will use and what we won't, and what clothes are so cute but only for special occasions, and which are workhorse outfits that I'll tend towards day after day. I remember that Clara spent the first month in a long sleeve mitted shirt and a swaddle. And when I actually dressed her in something else, I fawned over her, took a picture, then immediately regretted it next time I had to change a diaper... which was usually not very long from when I put the outfit on her.

I've been trying to have Clara walk more when we are out and about, getting her used to walking like a big girl. I need her to, not just because of baby A, but because she's getting big! She still stops often and turns to me, arms up, and says "Mommy pick me up." I've also been simplifying her nap routine and trying to streamline her bedtime knowing that in four month's time, it will need to be simpler. Our attention will be divided. My attention will be divided.

Along with the act of making room for baby A physically in our home, I've been making room for baby A in my body, literally, and in my heart. Even as I type, baby A kicks and squirms and rolls inside of me, reminding me that she's there, growing, breathing, heart beating, living... inside me. I remember this with Clara too, that insane feeling of loving someone that you haven't met, that's inside of you. But there is also the little girl that I have met, that was inside of me, and now is her own little me, who I also love with all my momma heart.

I know they say that your heart grows, and I believe it will. But for now, I'm still making room, slowly but surely. And I know when she's here, I'll be ready, for a new adventure with two little girls.